The Good Work

Plus one.

Let me preface this by saying that the story my Saturday playing Eve ended with me in my clone bay after tackling a Heavy Interdictor in NPC Null sec.


Yeah.  Solo HICs in Curse are almost absolutely bait ships.  Heavily tanked and fit with cynos, they are the premier tool for large gangs that like to hotdrop with Titans.  So warping to this guy and trying to tackle him was not the brightest move.  Still, I was having a good day and traffic was light, and I was hoping to catch the HIC off guard, and maybe wipe him out before his fleet was ready to jump into us.

Didn’t quite work out as planned.

That being said, I can tell you about the cool part of the Saturday.  I joined the fleet and asked what I should fly, and the FC said that a DPS cruiser would be nice.  I have several cruisers fit and ready to go, I decide to get in my Thorax because she puts out a good amount of damage at face punching ranges.

And we sit.  We catch a pod.  A frig.  Oooooh.   A stealth bomber.  Aaaaah.  Low hanging fruit.  Nothing juicy.  No fights.  I’ve taken over as FC when a pair of Red Alliance rookie ships jump in system.

An Ibis and a Velator.


The Velator lands.  We grab him.  The Ibis lands.  We grab him.  My ‘dictor pilot asks if I want a bubble.   Sure, I say.  He puts a bubble up.  We pop the Velator.  Everyone on the pod?  Send him home.  Pop.  Rinse and repeat for the Ibis.  Everyone on the pod?  Send him.  Pop.

A couple of minutes later, there’s a Fatal Ascension HAC gang next door and one FA in local.  When the Helios decloaks in the bubble, we grab him.  Local spikes.  We pop the Helios and scatter to safes.

While we are on safes, killmails get linked in fleet chat.



Look at this pod.

No way.

Yes, that is a 2.4 billion isk capsule.  Yes, he was flying gate to gate in an unfit Velator in NPC null sec space.

You don’t see that every day.



Look at the second pod.

No way.

Yes, that is a 5.2 billion isk capsule.   Yes, he was flying gate to gate in an cyno fit Ibis in NPC null sec space.


So when a 90 million isk Dram is taken an hour later and gives up a 220 million isk pod, it’s no big deal.


2 pilots with almost 8 billion isk in implants, flying rookie ships gate to gate in null sec.  We can theorize, but we really don’t know what these guys were thinking.  Probably don’t really want to know anyway.

It’s like Vizzini said, “Inconceivable!” 

All we can do is encourage our customers to keep doing what they are doing.

So keep up the good work guys.    Thank you, and please, come again.

Minus one.

Hat Trick

Plus one.

They were an all Minmatar gang.   Stabber Fleet Issue, Sabre and three Ruptures.  Our fleet was 2 frigates, 2 assault ships, 2 cruisers, 1 stealth bomber, 1 Falcon and a Maulus.  From my point of view, we had the advantage, but it could go terribly wrong.  We really don’t like to fight all anything gangs.  So I jumped in the Blackbird, tilting the odds a little more in our favor.

I don’t even want to explain how I got into the Failbird.  I’ll just say it was not fit to my specs. No prop mod.  Missing an armor module in the lows.  Modules in the highs?  All off line.  I onlined a drone killing smartbomb and went to warp.

They were on a tactical on the gate when I landed.  Our Falcon is decloaked.  We stare at each other for a long moment.  They warp to the gate.


You’re supposed to get them to call the bet before you flip your cards over.

They jump out and warp off.  I warp to a tactical and wait to online my second  smartbomb.  We’re discussing things when the scout reports that they are back next door, on the gate.

I tell everyone to get on the gate, we’ll fight them when they come back in.  Everyone spread tackle, grab what you can, don’t let them back to the gate.   Mr. Maulus, spread scan res damps on everything, please.

No one gets to shoot anything. 

The Sabre and the Stabber Fleet jump in.  The Sabre burns out of tackle range before he can get grabbed.  The SFI decloaks and does the same.  The Ruptures jump in, hold cloak.  The team shows good discipline and lets the SFI get away: they are ready to tackle two of the three Ruptures when they decoak.

I call a primary and hold off jamming.  Fighting on a gate with ECM is not easy:  You have to let the other guy commit before you try to jam him.  Aggression timers.  Otherwise he will just mosy back to the gate and leave.

The Sabre is buzzing around loose.  I’m hoping he makes a mistake and runs into a Harpy.  Untackled and off the gate, the Sabre and the SFI both get a one jam each.

The tacklers have 2 Ruppies and our caller is calling for damage on one.  But one of the Ruptures isn’t tackled.  He approaches me and I’m way too close to the gate.  He shoots me in the face  and I’m almost instantly in armor.

Damn.  I align.  I should have done that before.  I’m thinking more about killing stuff and less about keeping my ship intact.

I put an off racial jam on him.  I’m not pointed.  I warp off.  My armor is at 50 percent.  I curse the lack of tank on this ship.

Dude.  800mm plate?  DC2?

Yeah, almost anything is better than an empty low slot.

The loose Rupture pilot turns his attention to our Falcon.  Drones swoop in on the ECM ship that is still on the field, but our Falcon pilot smartbombs them.  The Rupture moves into gun range.

I warp back in at range from our Falcon and target the Rupture.  I know I can’t afford to take another hit in this ship, but a Blackbird loss a whole lot easier to live with than a Falcon loss.  A few seconds later, he’s jammed, scrammed and webbed, and I’m looking for more targets.

And there are none.  We never get scrams on the SFI or the Sabre.  They get away.

Tears are flowing in Local.   Yes, we use ECM.  Sorry.  If you were smart, you’d be doing a “Show Info: Maulus” about now.

And delightfully, there are three Minmatar cruiser wrecks on the field.  Rupture wrecks.

None of them ours.

Can you get a Hat Trick in Eve?

Yeah.  I think you can.

Minus one.


What? Who? Me?

Plus one.

Sunday morning. I’m up early, considering how late I went to sleep the night before.  There’s a few students online but they all seem to be new and in high sec.  I strap on a frigate and head next door.

To solo?

Well, I do solo at times.  Just not well.

Local is clear.  There’s a Gorgon Empire drag bubble on the gate and it’s 50k away.  That’s way too close for a solo frigate.  Too easy for something that you don’t want to fight to jump in and grab you.

I burn back to the gate and jump.  Dock up.  Get into a destroyer.  Undock and head back.  Jump in, warp to a tactical (for tactical bookmark: a tac, ping or perch) and then warp to the bubble.  At point blank range, the small mobile warp disruptor doesn’t stand a chance against my Cormorant.  Bubble down.

You’re a bad man. 

Yep, Bren the Bubble Slayer.

Angel pirates land on the gate.  Since CCP changed how the NPC pirate AI works, the rats have been more aggressive. They lock my ship almost instantly and start shooting.  That’s going to make soloing this gate a little harder, so I try to pick off the frigate and destroyer rats.  They don’t have the decency to close up and let me take them out: They start kiting me.

How cute. 

Local spikes, plus three.  Gorgon Empire. Rupture, Stabber Fleet Issue and Jaguar on D-Scan.  I’m over 100K off the gate, so I continue to try to make a move on the Angel pirates.  The GE gang lands on a tactical, takes a look and then warps to the gate.  The Ruppie and the SFI jump.  The Jag sits there, giving me the eye.  Maybe he thinks I’m going to come down and engage him with his friends next door.  I keep playing with the Angels.

The Jag burns up from the gate and launches a bubble, same place as the last one.

Really, buddy?

I warp away from my Angels and they dutifully lock up the Jag and start moving toward him.  The Jag burns back to the gate and jumps out.  You know, I’m not feeling the whole Gorgon-Empire-Camping-In-Our-Spot thing.

Warp. Lock. Rip. Pop. Warp.  Bubble down.

Gate flash: the Jaguar’s back.  He decloaks.  I align.  He sits.  I watch.  He warps to the out gate.

Corp chat flashes.  There seems to be a problem with Teamspeak.  I warp to a safe and try to fix it.  When I come back to a tac, there are two Angel wrecks on the field and the Jag is kiting the rest of them.

There is a drag bubble on the gate.

You have to admire their persistence.

I maneuver and watch the Jag.  He’s playing with the rats, in that no man’s land inside of 150k from the gate. I’m on the other side of the gate and moving slowly around.  He maneuvers out, then in, warps to the gate, and jumps out.

Warp. Lock. Rip. Pop. Warp.  Bubble down.

The Jag jumps in.  He decloaks.  I align.  He sits.  I watch.  He approaches the gate.  He says something in Russian and jumps out.

I wait a minute or so, and jump out behind him.  He’s not in Local, neither are his friends.

Well, look at that.

There’s a GE drag bubble on the gate and you know the drill:  Warp. Lock. Rip. Pop. Warp.  Bubble down.  Once I’m docked up safely in the station, I open up Google Translate: Russian to English.

”Stop being a dick.”

What? Who? Me?

Minus one.

Sorry For Your Loss

Plus one.

Let me tell you the story of Chaotic Past.

It’s Saturday afternoon and Chaotic Past finds himself flying an Orca.

In Curse:  a dangerous region of null sec space.

We call it “Home”.

Perhaps he was in a wormhole and left it to go put some things on the market.  Perhaps he saw a really great deal on an Orca contract and figured that he could run out real quick and pick it up, and flip it in high sec.  We’ll never know for sure.

But from the observers point of view, Chaotic Past is almost certainly heading for empire.  He makes his way into the Curse pipe and comes across a system with no stations, but 10 pilots in local, all in the same corp.  He makes a safe and cloaks up.  Probably goes AFK to grab a drink and watch a movie.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Saturday night, I log in game, grab a drink, read the forum, join the fleet, ask what I’m flying tonight?  I get in a ship and join the boys in our training camp.   OUCH pilots like to know stuff, so we’re known to ask a lot of questions.  And since I don’t like unknown neutrals in Local, I ask the guys, who is Chaotic Past?

Orca pilot.

Orca pilot?

Yep.  He’s cloaked up in here someplace.


Yep.  We’ve asked him nicely to come here and let us kill him, but he isn’t cooperating.

So we go through the night watching Chaotic Past watch us.  We plot and plan all sorts of wickedness.    Sometimes he logs out.  Then he logs in again a hour or so later.  We presume he’s checking to see if we have moved on.

After a while, he kind of blends into the background like a chameleon. We almost forget he exists.


Sunday night.  I log in game, grab a drink, read the forum, join the fleet, ask what I’m flying tonight?  I get in a ship and get told fantastic news.

We got that Orca.



Nice.  It’s not on the kill board.

That’s because it’s in Bart’s hanger.


Well, that’s delightful.

So it seems during the handful of times that Chaotic Past logged in out, my pirates were using the directional scanner to figure out his general location.  When he logged in and cloaked up on Sunday afternoon, they had locked him down within a couple AU, and they happened to have probes out in the general vicinity.  They grabbed his safe spot and warped onto him.  Then they swarmed around and decloaked him.

Scram. Web.  Should we ransom?

With everyone in system en-route to get a piece of the Orca, Chaotic Past wisely jumped of his ship.  He probably had a billion isk mining implant installed, and losing that would have added insult to injury.  But now my fellows have to make a critical decision.

Do we kill a billion ISK ship or do we steal it?

That Orca is going to look so good on the KB, but really, it’s a no-brainer.

An OUCH Orca pilot jumps in to local, warps in, boards the ship and is escorted back home.  Some money changes hands.  Some Thank You’s are traded.  All is right in the world.

The best stories in Eve are stories of great gain or great loss.

But they don’t always end with a killmail.

Minus one.