BB51: The Rush

Plus one.

There was a fight.  They were in cruisers, HACs and BCs.  We were in frigs, assault frigs, stealth bombers.  They had logi.  Even numbers:  We weren’t outnumbered, only out gunned, but we had EWAR.

So we engaged them on the gate anyway.

Guns versus EWAR.

The tackle grabbed everything they could, the bombers rained torpedoes on the primary, but it’s slow damage and well within the limits of their logi.

I can almost hear the other FC say, Bren in the Falcon is Primary.

I’m pointed and taking damage and I tell the FC.  My voice is calm.  My voice is almost always calm, at least that’s what the videos show.  But it doesn’t change the fact that a healthy dose of adrenaline dumped into my bloodstream the moment I was pointed.

Help is on the way.

I’m the Angel of Mercy for my fleet.  I’m the guy who protects them from the big bad wolves in their powerful ships who want to take their ships away from them.  And now I am going to fall and leave them unprotected.  I certainly don’t have the damage to take one of the bastards with me.

I cycle a jam off of one target and tag another who has me pointed, but a there’s a third as well.  My shields give way to armor.  I’m aligned, but I can’t break free.

Then Local spikes:  Plus 8.  It’s all blue.

Shield reps land when I’m halfway to structure.  The cavalry has arrived.  My FC is hooting and hollaring in TS; somehow he drew reinforcments from a few systems away.  Then he gets back to the business of calling primaries and destroying spaceships, one at a time.

Afterwards, I warp to a tactical, get up, and walk around.  I look at my hands.  They vibrate.

I take a deep breath, and then another.

I’ve killed a lot of ships.  Lost a few too.  It’s not the kills or even the losses that get my blood pumping, get my pulse racing.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate losing ships.  I really do.  I don’t like losing anything, whether it’s a game, an argument, a fight or my ship.  Winning is important, but it’s the near misses, the almost losses that stir my blood.

If you’re the type that believes that there’s no value to your ship losses, then you must never feel that rush that you get when you’re under the gun, your heart pounding in your ears as somehow you make it out of combat with your ship intact.

The rush comes from risking something of value, your ship or maybe it’s your reputation, and somehow coming out on top.  It could be a T1 frigate or a T2 Battleship.  Unless that loss means something to you, you’ll never know how I feel.

Oh.  I forgot.

You didn’t want those ships anyway.

Minus one.